Attention Seeking Behavior

I am writing today because I have come to the conclusion that I am an attention whore. I mean, clearly, right? There are a few dead give aways. 1.) I am coming out as an attention whore on the internet. 2.) I have a blog dedicated solely to writing about me.

Anyway… this is important because I have officially decided that it is THE reason that I am using the dating site. Here’s how I know:

1.) The success, or how I am choosing to define success, of the dates I have been on are completely dependent upon the amount and kind of attention that was given to me prior to going on the date. Date #1 didn’t really give me that much attention. He never told me how cute I was or anything like that. He was interesting to talk to, but seriously… I just want you to tell me I’m beautiful. Is that too much to ask? So when I went on Date #1, we sat across from each other at a coffee shop for two hours talking. Zero physical contact was had. Date #2 spent a lot of time telling me how cute I was. So when he came over, we laid around making out. Date #3 not only told me that I was cute, but was also fun to talk to. And he talked me up a lot! And we all know what happened on Date #3. The amount of positive attention I am given is positively correlated with what kind of date is had. (Look at me using sociological terminology…. not only am I really fucking cute, but I’m pretty fucking smart too!!)

2.) As soon as a guy stops telling me how great, pretty, smart, funny, beautiful, I am… I stop caring and don’t really want to talk to him anymore. While he is telling me all those nice things, I think that I may really like him… but when we stop talking its almost like they didn’t exist. Obviously there are no feelings there if I stop having them when I stop getting what I want, right?

Anyway. So I am talking to 2 new guys. Both of them are very good with flattery. Though, one is a little sex obsessed, which I kind of hate. I love sex. I love having it. I don’t especially love talking about it. I’d rather we talk about real things. And then have sex when we are together. I would like for it to seem spontaneous even though its not. But the sex obsessed one calls me ‘babe’ and there’s just something about that that makes the attention that much more satisfying.

The other guy texts me first. Actually, both of them text me first. And I think you all know how I feel about that! But this guy hasn’t mentioned sex once. Though, I think its been implied (by both of us) a few times. He’s from the east coast, but moved to Nebraska for school, and now works here. He’s really easy to talk to. I’ve been going through our conversations trying to decide why I like talking to him so much, and we don’t really talk about anything too exciting. Its just east conversation. He’s was in a fraternity in college, so he gets the whole Greek thing. Which, if you’re not Greek, its hard to understand where Greeks are coming from.

So that’s pretty much all for now. I just thought you all might like to hear about the self realization that I had today!